The always hilarious satire periodical, The Onion, has put up a list of the top 10 news articles of the last 4.5 billion years. According to the list, a trilobite extolling on how great it is to be alive during the Cambrian, is the top story in Earth’s history.
The final paragraph is actually quite poetic:
The trilobite then settled down in his murky lagoon, where for the third straight night he would rest soundly while thoughts of someday becoming a brine shrimp, or perhaps even a crustacean—each of which, he knew, would be just a small part of the beautiful upward arc of life, forever changing, forever moving toward balance and harmony—danced in his tiny, insignificant head.
One minor nerdy nitpick, however. Trilobites did not evolve into crustaceans or brine shrimp (which are crustaceans themselves). They were a distinct sister group to the other arthropod sub-phyla. The trilobite lineage is completely extinct; no descendants of these arthropods exist today.